I’ve just moved twice in 3 months and I think I’ve learned something about myself. I like to hold onto stuff, it makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something, like I’m in control. But who is controlling who?

When Crystal and I first moved to Idyllwild we stored a bunch of stuff that we knew we wouldn’t need in the mountains, but we thought we’d need when we got back. And it was only going to be for a few months anyway. Well, sixteen months later, we got to see what we paid $310 per month to keep and our hearts sank. We spent almost 5 grand to store this stuff? What were we thinking? We had a playpen that our grandson had outgrown, electronics that were outdated, furniture that didn’t fit the new place, and on and on.

Well at least we can sell this stuff and recover something, right? That’s when we found out that used stuff is worth just about nothing. Figure 10% if you’re lucky enough to have something that someone else wants and it’s in like-new condition. So paying to store stuff is a losing game.

We came to a conclusion – if we didn’t use it in 16 months, we probably wouldn’t ever use it. And out it went, clothes, dishes, books we would never read again, you name it. Do I really need 4 bathrobes?

Once we were in our new place in Bonsall we continued to lighten up. We knew we would not be there long term, so our objective was to keep only what we would need. We had to pay movers to move it in and we would have to pay movers to move it out. So more agonizing – that patio set is perfectly good, do we really have to give it away? Are we really ever going to use good China when we have guests or will we use the same plates we always use? How many times are we going to move this stuff around on the chance we might use it one time?

We moved from a 3400 square foot place in Bonsall to 1500 square feet in Oceanside. The downsizing continued. We lived in Bonsall for three months and STILL never used the stuff that we swore we needed when we moved in. So out it went, trash, Goodwill, AmVets (who don’t take furniture), wherever we could get rid of stuff.

It changes your perspective when you realize what stuff costs. You need a bigger house so you can keep more stuff in it. When you move you pay to move it. If you have too much stuff, you pay a storage unit to store it. Why have it in the first place?

So I’m in the store and I see a new gadget that looks awesomely useful. After all, I am oh so practical, I would never buy something just on impulse, I only buy stuff I will really, really use.  I’m looking at this thing on the shelf, should I put it in the cart and take it to the checkout? Should I send another $30 to China and another $3 to the state so this thing can sit in my garage until the day I realize I never used it and it is worth 30 cents now, so I can either throw it out, pay a mover to move it or hurt my back carrying it myself to my next place?

My advice to my fellow downsizers is this: in most cases it’s better to get rid of something than to move it. Let’s say you live back east and you want to bring that heavy dark oak dining room set to your new place in San Diego. It might have cost you 5 thousand originally so that means it’s maybe worth 5 hundred. Moving it here will cost you 5 hundred and when you get it here you will discover that it doesn’t fit. Maybe it physically fits, but it doesn’t fit the lighter décor that is more popular here. So now you will try to sell it, but no one wants it because it isn’t the popular style in southern California. So you could have had $500 if you sold it back east, but instead you paid $500 to move it and now you have to give it away for nothing.

Such is the way of things. I’ve found that it is freeing to live lighter and to not carry everything around. Today I threw out a whole trash bag of telephone cords when we only use cell phones, audio video cables for the TV when now we use HDMI cables, corded mice for the computer when we have wireless mice, and so on. You get the idea. So why do I keep all this stuff until it becomes obsolete and worthless? I guess I still have a lot more to learn.

Thanks to Glen Larson [president@genesisft.com] for this inside look at a well-run operation:

“During the 1980′s, Van Halen became “notorious” for having a clause in their tour contract. Pages and pages of details were included in the contract. In the middle of the contract was a clause stating that the band wanted a bowl of M&M’s back stage with ALL THE BROWN M&Ms removed. When I first heard this, my initial response was “what a bunch of spoiled divas”. I had grown up hearing the rumor and decided to verify this.

In David Lee Roth’s autobiography, he confirmed that this rumor was true, but then he shared some interesting details that made me reverse my diva opinion of Van Halen.

Roth mentioned that due to the complexity of the tour (think 9 – 18 wheelers arriving with equipment that had to be set up correctly at each venue). The complexity of setting up each show meant there was a much greater chance for technical mistakes that could turn a successful concert into a disaster. They, for example, stated that “There will be 15 amperage voltage sockets at 20 foot spaces, evenly, providing 19 amperes.”

The band had buried in the contract, section 126 the following: “There will be no brown M&Ms in the backstage area, upon pain of forfeiture of the show, with full compensation”.

When Roth arrived at each new venue, he immediately would go back stage to see if the M&Ms were there and to see if the brown M&Ms were removed. If he found brown M&Ms, he would immediately demand a line check of the entire setup. He often stated that it “Guaranteed, you’re going to arrive at a technical error”.

Turns out the band members of Van Halen weren’t being divas after all. They had discovered a quick and easy monitoring method to see how close the promoter was paying attention to the small details. They didn’t have time to go through and check every socket, plug or wire, but all these small details were significant for a successful concert. Their success was in the small details.”

The complexity of the Van Halen tour reminded me of the complexity of a San Diego real estate transaction. So many different players, laws changing all the time, banks in turmoil, and all it takes is one misstep to have a failed transaction. It really takes someone who has a super “attention to detail” personality to pull it off. That’s why I’m so thankful for my wife Crystal, who oversees each transaction like a hawk. Nothing catches her by surprise, all the small details are covered, and the result is smooth, hassle-free closings. That’s why our clients say, “Thanks for all your hard work, you two make a great team!”

The current downturn in the real estate market has affected all of us, and many find themselves “stuck” in a place they didn’t want to be for long. Like the person I talked with today who is in Arizona and now has no equity in her house. She can’t sell without writing a check, and even if she did, there would be no downpayment to buy a place in a better climate (like San Diego). Stuck.

Or like the guy who owns raw land and intended to build on it. It now costs more to build then the house is worth when it is done, so he’s stuck. And the tax bills keep coming anyway.

Getting “unstuck” depends a lot on your view of the future. If you think this downturn is an aberration and prices will recover to 2006 levels soon, then perhaps it makes sense to just wait it out. But if that doesn’t happen, what is your plan B?

Life goes on. The family gets larger or smaller and jobs change. Maybe re-thinking your housing needs can make everything work better. There might be ways to get yourself in a better position that you don’t know about.

I talk with people every day who have seen dramatic changes in their financial life, in their careers, and in their families. I have 20 years of experience helping people who are trying to better themselves and I’ve seen all kinds of creative solutions. Maybe, just maybe, I might have an idea or two that can help you. So give me a call, what do you have to lose?